Gring Mode

Have you ever wondered what Trick Daddy would sound like on a Postal Service song? I haven't, but I found out anyway. Please note: hyper-melodic singing of phrase "Big Ole Titties."

Gring Mode–Ecstacy ft. Trick Daddy

I got this track off a mix called "Jook & Vibe" posted over at MadDecent. The mix itself is kind of horrible, unless you really want to listen to reiterations of that song "Get Low" for 40 minutes. You can thank me later.

What have we learned from this? Ben Hibbard can die and we will all probably survive, providing that crappy hip hop music continues to fill what I refer to as "the wuss gap." 

Flute Juice

God Damn. This was totes going to be the name of teh new Gay Science EP.

Flying Lotus is better than you

Flying Lotus has a horrible name. Really. Look at it and you think that you are about to listen to some sort of, if you are lucky, New Age yoga music. Then you read more and you are like, "Oh, instrumental hip hop? I will just file that with my turntablist CDs...in the trash, zing!" It turns out that Flying Lotus is some of the hottest shit out right now AND he is from the Valley. Go figure. This dude is Alice Coltrane's nephew and he makes some serious headphone music that manages to not be, well, headphone music. His tracks always seem to have some weird squirmy shit going on in them, definitely worth listening to. So here I post for you, loyal reader, a mix and a few videos. Beware, the last video is NSFW in a big, very troubling way. 

BBC Essential mix with Flying Lotus

Two hours of the Xtreme hotness. Go to the Mad Decent blog for the tracklist.

Interview for XLR8R TV, wherein FL proves that he is, in fact, a "serious artist."

Finally, the video for Parisian Goldfish. NSFfuckingW, yo.

PARRTY AT THE ULTIMATE HANGZONE!

Dudes, Will and I are going to get a keg, blast the soul music and watch PBS starting at 5. I invite everyone to come by. THE ULTIMATE HANGZONE (2101 Rountree Dr.)

!

Is that a joke, or is that a real question?

Joe Biden laughing in hater's faces.

Cheah

New Shit on the The Interworld

Want to know what I have been doing, besides posting? Well, the real answer is that I have been mostly watching Obama-related youtube videos and getting choked up. But here is some shit you should know.

Zizek on Some Radio Program from Brown.

His segment is called What's the Question? A lot of classic Zizek, but also some insights into Sarah Palin, etc. 

Check out Legion of Rock Stars. Here is the description from Stereogum

"the rules are simple:
A bunch of people put on noise-canceling headphones
They all listen to the same song and play along
The results are recorded and set to the original music video
Hilarity ensues"

Their version of Mother has got to be one of the best things on Youtube in a bit. Except for aforementioned Obama speeches.

MGMT

Speaking of...can someone explain to me why people like these herbs? I am being sincere–I have no fucking clue. If people think that these shitheads are fashion-forward they should come to Austin like 3 years ago. We have hella dudes that look like unhealthy, faux-70s, indierock-bellied "artists". My tentative theory is that the internet vomits up something like this every year or so. First it was Crystle Castles, Vampire Weekend and now this. The best thing to do is to buy the Justice remix and wait for this crap to disappear. I figure if we get rid of Canada and pansy-ass east coast fontleroy training camps (read: private liberal arts colleges) we can probably eliminate this kind of garbage.

MASH SF

There are probably plenty of people in the world that are "over" fixed-gear dirt bags and they have good reason. There is a certain attitude that people who are really into fixed-gears have that makes them all seem like mega-douches. As someone who rides a fixed-gear and, all sceney bullshit aside, loves the beejezus out of my bike, I feel sometimes that the whole thing has turned into another shitty accessory and most people who are into these bikes spend more time picking out their cutoffs than riding. Life sucks, what can you do? The thing about biking that is different from, say, wearing Ray-Bans or a fucking MGMT headband is that biking is hard. You have to, at some point, earn it. This is why I think that fixed-gear people are totally tolerable if not awesome. Dudes that are mega bike dudes are kind of the meat heads of hipsterdom, and I respect that. Anyway, MASH is a crew out of SF that does crazy shit and films it, etc. They made a pretty awesome movie which you should see, but it is more about SF than them in my opinion. As someone from LA, I have a hatred for SF that can only come out a deep conviction that it might be the perfect american city. LA is clearly a third-world dump. Buy the movie from turntablelab and download the soundtrack here. If I were to make a CD about what I think it means to live in California I would pick a lot of this music: Richie Rich, Journey, Ozzie, Gorilla Biscuits, Bad Brains, M83, Gang Starr, Firehose, Eyedea. This is the CD where you realize that your aversion to backpack rap is stupid, that the Biscuits were the first band that made you really want to punch something and that Blondie is pretty boss.

The Avalanches

Do you remember how absurdly awesome the Avalanches album, "Since I Left You" was? For me, it was the first time I had heard someone really sample things in a way that completely mutated the source material. It was also about the same time as I got into the internet–I was a late internet bloomer–and I was just beginning to really take my already eclectic music tastes to the extreme. They brought all of these things together in a way that was 'gasp' artistic. Hearing them drop "Like a Rolling Stone" over "Holiday's" bassline made me completely lose my mind. Totally uncheezy ungimmicky. It is unfortunate that we entered mashup hell pretty soon after that release, perhaps overshadowing their greatness. What is interesting is that in the current (internet dance) music scene, I feel that people look to Hollertronix as the progenitors of the no-holds barred DJ mix, but it seems to me that the Avalanches were doing something similar, but more cohesive, earlier but get relatively little love. Anyway, here is a mix that I found at Nialler9, which has absolutely 0 dance songs and exactly 2 Van Dyke Parks songs. LISTEN TO THIS SHIT AND THEN THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT THEY PLAYED THIS IN IBIZA.

Here we go.

DIPLO SPEAKS

Diplo is kind of outstanding.

Victory Through Air Power

So into Disney propaganda films right now.

IIIMMMM BACCKKK (almost)

Dudes, I am at the airport in Phoenix and there is SO MUCH FREE INTERNET!!! isn't God kind? I have been in Brazil, doing rad shit and not being so much into the internet. But I have to admit that I missed Texas, mostly because there is no Mexican food in Brazil. Lots of Brazilian food, though. Not to be equivocal: Brazil still rules serious ass. You have doubts, here is just the tip of the glorious, drunken, lazy, beautiful, samba-ing iceberg that is my future country of residence. I give you–The Frevo.

The frevo is a dance that is typical of the Brazilian states of Alagoas, Pernambuco, Bahia a little. The music that accompanies it is similar in instrumentation and rhythm to forró, another ballcrunchingly awesome kind of music from the northeast. It is danced by both women and men, dressed often in tripped-out clown garb and sweat-smeared face paint. The traditional accoutrement is a tiny umbrella, twirled and swung between the legs and around the back. As you can see from the above video, the dance is exuberant to point of being cheezy, but so acrobatic and difficult looking that you would never talk shit. It is sort of like tapdancing for mega-hosses. Has this shit been in an Outkast video yet? Someone get on that.

NEW TRACK AT DUDES!

So our latest challenge topic was "Leg Bruising", a topic whose ridiculousness is only outpaced by the newest topic, which is "Penis:flaccid". Anywho, go to the DUDES blog and download them shits, and then vote at dudesdudesdudes at gmail dot com. Here is the link to my track, just in case you are lazy.

Killer Mike, Genius

The World Gets More Confusing

In the midst of a Michael MacDonald Youtube-athon–inspired by yacht rock and umeancompetitor–I discovered this awesome video for "Aint No Mountain High Enough". It is just a montage of pictures of airport runways with Michael MacDonald crooning in the background. Amazing.

Me and God

Our latest DUDES challenge topic (non-denominational, spiritually uplifting song) has had me thinking a lot about God as of late. Like, hypothetically, if dude existed, how would he feel about me? Like cosmically. I have had, this week, two contrary indications about His willingness to grant my wishes. First; I saw that a movie version of Mamma Mia is coming out. Starring Meryl Streep. This is obviously the work of God telling me to go fuck myself. I say this because I think that no one in the world could possibly hate Meryl Streep as much as I do. This, of course, is compounded by the fact that she is, by some, considered to be the "greatest living screen actress" (IMDb). Reading this sort of stuff makes me think that God is not indifferent, he clearly divined the worst thing that could happen to me and then made it so. What is worse is that I heard someone saying how good the movie is. If it was widely regarded as horrible, then maybe Meryl Streep would finally go away, but this does not to be the case. Point: God obviously hates me. BUT, today I heard this little piece of news. MIA is quitting music to focus on fashion and art. While I was under the impression that this had never not been the case, as in, her music was always a giant ad for che-printed leotards, apparently she was actually focusing on her music. Who knew. All of this is besides the point, however, because this event has been on my wishlist for several years now and finally God has thrown me a bone. So as of right now I have no idea where god stands, vis-a-vis my crappy little self. 

ANTE UP

Sesame Street footage edited into a video for M.O.P.'s Ante Up.

Running the World

I have a hunch that the chorus of this song was once the name of this song, but due to a Tipper Gore-esque backroom nag-fest it was changed from the offensive-yet-true "Cunts Are Still Running the World" to the present, innocuous title "Running the World". I should clarify; given a solid listen, it is apparent that Jarvis is not referring to some sort of vagina-freemason conspiracy theory–he is using the good old C word in the british sense as in prick, jerk, asshole, etc. Part of the reason that I wish that the chorus of this song was the title is that the word "cunt" is one of the few words that I can barely bring myself to utter. I find it to be a spectacularly horrible word, one of the few cuss words that retains its grit after repeated use. Good for you, C word! Anyway, the fact that I find the word so terrifying makes the chorus that much more potent. This song came to my knowledge via that soundtrack to Children of Men, where it plays, I believe, over the closing title sequence. It is kind of hilarious it that it provides this coda of good-natured apathy to a movie that, I think, was trying to be hopeful or uplifting in some way. Download away.

Running the World–Jarvis Cocker

Let's Be Friends

I just posted a new track over at the sexspace. If for some reason you hate myspace, then fear not because I have the track right here for download. I would crank this shit as loud humanly possible, but I am not going to tell you how to live your life.

Snackface and I Went to See No Age

I wrote this rant the other day while waiting for the Simpsons to come on. In retrospect, I don't know why I was so pissed off. I think it was because they have been showing Simpsons episodes from teh first 2 seasons, which are total garbagio.

The other day Snack and I went to go see No Age at Emo's. We went because we have said we were going to see them about 4 times, each time laming out. Since Snack will be out of Austin in bit, we decided to see No Age with Abe Vigoda, the Strange Boys and Infinite Body. I will now pass judgement on all of them.

I don't like The Strange Boys. Actually they are probably fine dudes, but I don't like their music. I would not, however, go so far as to say that they are a bad band. They seem to be totally competent, even if their competence comes in the form of "Introduction to Bluesy Rock" guitar riffs. The dude's voice aggravates me, though. As I told Snack, it sounds like Bob Dylan playing a 17 year-old version of himself in a shitty docu-drama. Stolen nostalgia does not appeal to me. But people seem to be about them, so good for them. I also judge bands predominantly on the answer to following question: "Why should I pay 10 dollars to see you?" Thus, stage presence is a really big deal for me, since that is basically the difference between listening to their myspace and drinking a beer at home and dragging my ass out to emo's and being sweated on by pubescent bloggers. The Strange Boys mumbled some crap and basically had no presence whatsoever. Is being peach-fuzz shy guy the new version of being too-cool wannabe miles davis dude? Either way, I am not a 16 year old girl so I remain unimpressed by your fey shyness. Go in peace, Strange Boys.

Infinite Body was a noise, prurient-lite type act that only played for like 15 minutes (I think). I liked what I heard, although I was into the more rhythmic stuff and not so much into the feedback washes. What is funny about noise music is that its live performance consists essentially of making something look really hard/painful that is actually pretty fucking easy. That said, Infinite Body grimaced alot. He seemed to be using some sort of talk box, which is rad, although snack and I thought at first he had a Garth Brooks headset mike which would have been way more awesome. He was an interesting act to bring along and I would go see him open up for another band any time.

Abe Vigoda were, for me, the stand out of the night, I don't just say that because they are from LA. They had good presence, catchy, slightly confusing music and they had a sense of humor which is pretty much the only stance with any legitimacy nowadays. ALSO: their bassist was one of the most awkward people I have ever seen on stage, and they put him in the middle. Good choice. Go buy their album.

I saw No Age twice at SXSW and both times I thought that they were better than on record. Why? Because they didn't play any of their "ambient loops", they just rocked. I would guess that they toned down the artiness because they were playing for people who might not know how cool the internet said they were. Unfortunately, the other night, we all knew how cool the internet says they are. Thus, we were treated to lots of non-rocking artiness which, in my opinion, was a sucky non-sequiter to the good parts of their music. What No Age is, essentially, is a pop-punk band with some arty crap slathered on top. The entirety of the interworld has found ways to pretend that No Age is not a pop punk band. Get over yourselves, everybody. Plus, I think that they are vegans, guitar dude definitely has "GO VEGAN" written on his guitar which pretty much deaded the band for me. Plus there was moshing.

All I realized from this night is that I hate punk rock, in all of its guises. Isn't the essential rivalry in the contemporary music world Punk v. Disco? Wasn't disco the master that the punks were rising up against? In that case, I am fucking disco. The ultimate apology for punk is the fact that it was a movement and not just a music. It was all about the experience of seeing the Germs play, not what they played. It was a sort of performance art, avant la lettre. If this is true, that means that we have punk to thank for the conversion of music into some sort of accessory to an ideology. The Ramones existed so that their shirts could be sold at Urban Outfitters. Thus, the fact that the punk aesthetic is the go-to look for EVERY WHITE MUSICIAN SINCE THE 90s, regardless of the type of music they play, is not a perversion of the punk spirit, but its utmost celebration. One does not have to play punk rock to participate its glory. Pete Wentz and No Age hanging out on MTV. This would be tolerably if I was down with the supposed ideology of punk rock, but it is heinous. Punk rock brings together all of those things that I most loathe in the world; exaltation of mediocrity (musicianship in this case), self-righteous ranting, lifestyle marketing (the sex pistols were formed to sell clothing) and loud ignorance. The fact of the matter is this:there is no long-term substitute for talent and grinding. That is why when the Good Charlottes (and the Sex Pistols, Ramones, etc.) of the world are gone and dust, Stevie Wonder will be laughing his ass off in Awesome Music Heaven. Rant over.

Don't Sleep On DUDES

see more pwn and owned pictures

I totally forgot to post this, but I put up a new track overat DUDES. My particular track is entitled, "A Remarkably Cheerful Tale of a Horrendous Death at Sea," and is pretty much what it sounds like. Once you are done listening to all the songs, email in a vote to dudesdudesdudes at gmail dot com. COMING SOON: a non-denominational, spiritually uplifting song about the world spirit, or some shit.

NEW MUXTAPE: ROBOTRIPPIN MOSTLY

Oh Honey-Delegation
Sample line: "She aint the kind to show off her mind/ but talking bout love she's clever." Is this an ode to dumb chicks? Don't know.

Big Pimpin-The Dogg Pound
Although Tha Dogg Pound strictu senso refers to only Daz and Kurupt, in fact we all know that on any Dogg Pound track we will also see Snoop and Nate Dogg whose presence is so ubiquitous as to make them almost full members. I cannot recall if Daz or Kurupt had any participation whatsoever in Snoop's short-lived porn career. This song is pretty much what will make Southern California shine evermore in the memories of rap fans: bragadaccio, funk samples, good-natured gang banging and of course Nate Dogg crooning his fucking ass off. Of particular note: spoken word interlude using extended "pen as ho" metaphor at 2:45.

Throw Your Hands Up-8Ball and MJG f. Outkast
8Ball and MJG seem eternally destined to exist at the second tier of southern rap. I think it is because all of their songs sort of turn into really awesome posse cuts.As can be seen in Pure Uncut, Throw Your Hands Up and–their biggest brush with fame–the guest spot on Three 6's Stay Fly, where MJG shat on everybodys' verse. I think that is why they put dude last, they knew that if it went MJG then Crunchy Black people would just turn that shit off. This track with Outkast shows how well they work with other artists–pumping out a great southern pride jam: "people barbecuing in the front yard/money from the first of the month card". This song is also really well integrated rhythmically. The chorus and the first couple of verses stick real tightly to the beat which makes Big Boi's departure from that scheme that much more awesome. Anyway if you are interested in something else, check out a track called Don't Flex which includes the line "got more butt/ than she got body". Oh, and 8Ball is literally shaped like a ball.

Happy Feelingz–Z-Ro
In the parts of the internet where I hang out one sometimes hears debates over whether or not Z-Ro is the tupac of southern rap. Die-hard fans blanche at this comparison for no real reason except to preserve Z-Ro's realness. On the other hand, there will always be people for whom all rap must radiate from the Biggie-Tupac binary. I really don't give a shit, either way, Z-Ro is fucking amazing and definitely tupacesque in that he is sometimes embarassingly personal. My opinion is that Z-Ro is similar to the Tupac as we knew him before they studied his raps at liberal arts colleges. Basicallly before his image was neutered of all thugishness. Remember that Tupac? When he was a startingly complex thug and not a misunderstood poetic soul? That is what Z-Ro is like. Dude raps about trying to kill himself, thanks mental health professional and talks about doing drugs and shooting people eg. "pussy in the middle of the forehead/ I want to see my foes dead." Something tells me that there wont be a class on that at Berkeley anytime soon. Fucking hippies.

PS if you like Z-Ro, cocaineblunts put up a best-of mix.

Woo-Haa (Jay Dee RMX)-Busta Buss
No one needs me to say that Jay Dee was a force of nature or that the "game" will not be the same without him. Interestingly enough, his untimely death seems to have jogged loose something in the interflow and new remixes are everywhere. Here is one of woo-haa!! a song which is annoying at best in its original form. Somehow Busta's pre-scary-ripped insanity is more affective when pitted against the nonchalance of a Jay Dee beat.

No Static-Nappy Roots
What happened to these dudes? I think that they tried to work the "we're country" thing about 3 years too soon, because soon after this people started repping Huntsville and Baton Rouge. They might have also been too likeable, because there are some things (like being country) that only Juvenile can pull off. People with teardrop tattoos generally get what they want. Anyway this song uses a Greg Nice sample to great effect. I hope that these dudes can bring some more shit like this.

Gangsta Party-Yo Gotti f. Bun B, 8Ball and MJG
Do you think that MJG feels bad that people always write 8Ball's name first? That's not what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is the fact that the first rule of rap is to never invite Bun B to be on your song. He will show you up. Dude never slips. This song is a banger and I don't want to talk about it–just play it as loud as you can.

Grind Baby-PRGz
I pretty much already said what I had to say about this jam.

Pimpin All Over the World (Go go RMX)-Luda
I am a gigantic Ludacris fan. Maybe you are getting the idea, but there is a certain rap tone which I am drawn to–good natured thuggish/pimpishness. Its like; we're at the club, I'm acting stupid, I don't take myself too seriously but if you cross me I will fucking eat your brains. Or, equally; hey I'm self-deprecating and silly, look at my crazy hair–but no seriously let me take nasty-ass pictures of you and all of your friends. I feel that Luda has at least half of this equation down–his thuggishness is unconvincing, but I do believe in his ability to pimp all over the world. This track and "Area Codes" establishes the kind of pimp-in-the-age-of-globalization motif that Luda mines so fruitfully in his work. Oh and this go-go remix enhances the summery-ness of the original and offsets the cheeziness of the background singers.

That Shit (Jay Dee RMX)-ATCQ
Another Jay Dee remix that is getting close to embarrassing but never gets there. Jay Dee raps about detroit and says: "make the ladies say ho/ and make them hos say ow/ and them owls say hoot." I don't know what that means.

Devin the Dude f. Odd Squad–Just Tryin ta Live
Devin the Dude's oeuvre is mad deep. He is a machine that just generates low-key cadillac music ceaselessly. What is cool about the Dude is that, along with his unique, behind the beat rapping and self-deprecating subject matter, his productions are always really live. It is a good counterpoint to many other southern/Houston rappers whose beats often sound like a 808 preset–all 16th note high hats and no funk. The Dude brings equal parts skittery hats and organ, bass, vocals. If you have been in Texas in August you know why this shit is so slow.

After Laughter (Comes Tears)-Wendy Rene
This song was sampled by the Wu for their track Tearz, a song that I don't really like. The original is amazing, though and should be listened to in lieu of the Wu-Tang song. Actually, somebody, take the Ghostface verse and mix it over this song. Do that.

LISTEN NOW!

Oh and don't trip if you missed the last muxtape, I will up it in zip form in a few days.

Will This Be the Worst Thing Ever Recorded?

Saul Williams, the world's most famous slam poet (not a good thing), and Trent Reznor made an album that is called, wait for it...NIGGY TARDUST. Nuff said.

DUDES.

Cross-posted from the new blog Dudesdudesdudes

Yall,
Some months back Snack and I got the idea that we would start a duo (bass and accordion) called DUDES and play songs with titles like "Hey Ryan, Let's Get Girlfriends With Cool Haircuts." Ideally, we would have 0 web presence and only record cassette tapes. Unfortunately, fate intervened in the form of our burgeoning rap careers and our mutual laziness. We had one rehearsal and we pretty much just smoked cigarettes and enthused about Brazilian psych music (Tom Zé!). Fast forward to now and Ryan is moving to Williamsburg to turn the apparel world on its head by starting a retail store which only sells blank, colored shirts and other hipster-lifestyle accoutrements. Genius. I am still in grad school, marginally employed and spending a lot of time on the internet. That was the situation as of last week. Then, in a completely unrelated stroke of tard-genius I got the idea to write a song about sailing. This is especially odd since I have been sailing like once and I don't like fishing. When it was almost done I sat at my computer and assured myself that surely this was the best song about sailing written in the last two weeks. There was only one way to find out: to challenge Snackface aka RPY aka P to write a superior song about sailing. This idea, together with our renewed interest in talking mad shit (wiffle ball), spurred us to resurrect the DUDES project in the form of a song writing competition. To whit:

1) Every two weeks a subject will be chosen at random by a super-advanced computar program that we will talk about in a few days. At the end of thos 2 weeks, the songs will be uploaded to the blog and the voting period will last the next 2 weeks and so on.

2) Everyone is encouraged to vote. Votes will be sent to a neutral 3rd party who will tally them without informing us of the totals. Our egos are very fragile.

3) Songs must be primarily written and vocalized by the contestant. Otherwise, anything goes–bring in the fucking Polyphonic Spree if you want.

4) Songs must be over 1 minute long.

5) The prize/consequences of teh competition have yet to be determined. Stay posted

I am tired of writing, so I am going to stop now.
I love you.
Sexfizzy

Grind Baby

This track, Grind Baby, by Paper Route Gangstaz samples Weezer and it absolutely kills. The best thing is that it is not ironic nor is it trying to ride on the coattails of the greatness of the Weezer song–it is just a great song that samples another great song. I am really happy that we seem to have gotten to this place in music, where we can all just admit that we live in the same internet and be done with it. Eventually EVERY SINGLE soul/funk/jazz/"boogie" record will have been sampled to death (2012?) and we will have to move on to other stuff anyway–so why not do it now? This kind of sampling seems to me to be the only response to the idiotic attitude that people (blogjays) have had in the recent past towards towards their "favorite" rap artists of the moment (Three 6, E-40, Dipset, Lil' Wayne). This is the attitude wherein the blogosphere acts all giddy when these dudes mention something other than drugs, money or ladies. Juelz says Bon Jovi and half of the graphic designers on the east coast crap themselves. Lil' Wayne mentions a sport other than basketball and dudes in New Era hats and neon Nike dunks have aneurysms trying to blog about it. Isn't this attitude kind of condescending? To suggest, even in the form of verbose, sycophantic Pitchfork reviews, that rappers live in some sort of parallel universe separated from the "rest of us" by a type of cultural one way mirror? We can take from them (16 year old in skinny jeans wearing Three 6 shirt and listening to fidget/bmore remixes of A Bay Bay) but the minute that a rapper tries to participate in the wider, non-rap world, we fall off our chairs. PRGz are putting out a record on Mad Decent, which is good since they are pretty much the most solid, gimmick free label in this Internet dance shit and PRGz deserves all the support they can get.

Grind Baby-PRGz

Crap in a Bag

Are you ever biking around and wonder what all the crap is in your bag? Like the stuff that just accumulates whenever you rotate everything else forming the sediment of your bag? I do, like all the time. So today I decided to just dump that shit out and see what it was. I was pretty proud. Mahatma rice, condoms and weird pills all in one bag? Not one, but two dictionaries? Trash? Click on the picture to see the annotated picture.

NEW MUXTAPE

LISTEN!

Genies Afraid of the Dark-Roy Alton
On the whole, there are far too few songs about genies in my life right now. In fact, there are basically none except for this one and "Never Had a Friend Like Me" from Aladdin. I am pretty sure that this song is about ghosts, though, and not about the kind of genies that grant wishes and live in lamps. I will take what I can get, though. Actually, isn't a soca song about ghosts, like twice as rad as the normal soca subject matter which is mainly doing it and "wineing pon it"? Just saying.

Can we hang out tonight?-Count Bass D

This song sums up everything that I wish I could say to cute girls at the grocery store.
Can we hang out tonight?
Will you show up?
Have fun if you want to, girl,
You aint gotta act grown up
You ask too many questions, baby,
You wonder about my love,
All I'm asking is
Can we hang out tonight?
In fact, I might just walk around blaring this tune and looking at chicks with the questioning eyebrow. Count Bass D is rad, has been rad for a bit. Nowadays, in the world of pimply blogjays, it is common for people to have reservations about the Stone's Throw sort of aesthetic of people like the Count. Fuck them.

?-Moodymann
Moodymann was a big name in house music for a while, I haven't heard anything from him in a bit. The awesomeness of this song corresponds to my theory which dictates that the raditude of dance music is directly related to the amount of black dudes from detroit involved. Sexless white people=death=fist pumping when you should be dancing.

Slide Slide-Basement Jaxx
Old Basement Jaxx. If you were stuck on a desert island and had to pick Daft Punk or the Jaxx, what would you do? You know what I would do.

Stay the Night-Billy Ocean
Billy Ocean is a god among men. "You're a woman, I'm a man/Let's do what nature planned"? Don't tell Judith Butler!

A Minha Menina-Jorge Ben
So maybe you have seen McDonald's new series of hipster-baiting ads: dudes in v-necks and moustaches telling you to eat a mchicken sandwich, some girl in cute flats outside of her pseudo gentrified loft telling you to try the mcburger. It was bound to happen and frankly I am glad. LETS ALL GET PAID, BITCHES! But they hit a new high when they transmuted the hipsterness into using the Os Mutantes (aka the only brazilian band besides Bonde do Role and CSS that gets play in Urban Outfitters) version of A Minha Menina in an ad. Oh snap! Why do I remain unruffled? Because I know that it is a Jorge Ben song and I am in possession of the original version–which is slightly less cool than the mutantes version, but I will claim otherwise from now on.

Gobbledigook-Sigur Rós
This is not a Sigur Rós song. Actually it is, but I had to be convinced. I associate Sigur Ros with hangovers, because that is when I play their music–lying in bed trying not to die and imagining that I am on a windswept icelandic knoll and not sweating my face off in Texas. This, however, is some sort of, dare I say, raucous joy-song. Even the title is recognizable gibberish. I am kind of a fan.

Paradise-Young Chris f. Lil' Wayne
Lil' Wayne's new album is not that good. I am very far from saying that he is the greatest rapper alive. NEW RULE: When Salon.com says that you are the greatest rapper of all time, you are most certainly not. This is a Young Chris song and it is a bout being high and wanting to be more high, Lil' Wayne shines on this and Young Chris brings it hard. Even Akon-esque hook singer guy sounds good. Faux-caribbean music!

Somebody's Watching Me-Sweet
I don't know jack shit about this song besides the fact that it rules balls.

Finally Changes-KOT v. Chris Lake
Here's the thing, Kings of Tomorrow have this song called Finally. Chris Lake has this song called Changes. here they have been brought together to form the proverbial voltron of dancefloor bangers.

Can't Satisfy Her-I Wayne
People who are too embarassed to use the term "mashup" generally say "blend." It evokes fewer images of britney spears singing over falco. That said, this is a blend of I Wayne's Can't Satisfy Her with Bad Boys. While I am sorry to see Shyne go, I think that Wayne sounds great over this beat, especially since the original rhythm for Can't Satisfy Her is kind of trife. This song is essentially about how being a ho is not merely something one does, it is something one is. It is a legitimate existential position. ALSO: "she needs more wood for the fire." Holy pun!

Up in the Treehouse-Cody Chesnutt
All of this Afrobama business got me thinking about Cody Chesnutt. I went back and listened to the Headphone Masterpiece–dude filled 2 CDs with some of the most uneven material I have heard in a bit. He fills a great niche, though. People who like ass shaking too much to seriously dig Steven Merritt, yet like the grit of a 4 track tape recorder. Enter Msr. Chesnutt. while this song is not of the ass shaking variety, it is is really sweet.

Hillary

Best Mixtape of the Summer?

Devlin of Devlin and Darko put together this wicked mixtape called Love in the Time of War. Its fucking huge and I recommend that everyone download it immediately. Their blog Fully Fitted is awesome as well.

I SAID A SOY LATTE!

This is the sort of thing that is almost too good to be true. 

Myspace and the Muxtape

So, as you may have noticed, there is something new here at Sexfacerulez...a mixtape! I plan on keeping this mixtape up to date, changing things up every two weeks or so, so feel free to click the tape at your right and stream my thoughts into your mind. DIRECTLY INTO YOUR MIND.

In other news, I have finally started up the Sexface solo myspace page. I threw two new joints up on there and I suggest all of you make me your myspace friend so that you can be privy to all the amazing, next level shit that will be transpiring over there. 

Commercials

Are you ever watching TV at night and realize that the horrible television ads are meant for YOU? For example, I watch the Family Guy every night at 10:30–let's just pretend like that isn't kind of pathetic. I recently realized that all the ads are either for fried chicken, ITT Tech, cheap auto insurance or phone sex. While I think that I am not in immediate need of any of these things (although I might go back to school to get my computer drafting certificate if this whole PhD thing doesn't work out) it makes me kind of concerned to think that I am watching the same show at the same time as a whole bunch of jobless pervs who are uninsured. Doesn't sound like me at all. 

Oh and a more substantial note, I recommend that everyone listen to this internet radio show. Dâm-Funk is a DJ and producer from LA who is currently killing it on the 80's funk tip. This shit is solid gold. 

Finally!

Ban on first cousin marriages "not necessary".

Youtubery

Flight of the Concords: Do You Like Ladies?

This video has me sincerely considering learning how to roller skate. I guess I would have to go through the whole "learning-how-to-skate-and-falling-in-public" thing which is not awesome. If I could somehow just go straight to skate-dancing, I would be all over it.

Campaign Song Roundup

So like all sane Americans I am a Barack Obama supporter. I began as an Edwards man, but then the capitalist war machine (or something) took him out, so I switched my support to Obama. The whole time I kep this a secret from John Edwards because he is mean ass drunk. So now Obama has Edwards' support and all is right in the world. One of the reasons that I  like Obama is that, somehow, he has the enviable talent of inspiring random people to write him totally not shitty songs about him. Hillary not so much. Let's take a look:

1) This song by TI$A also has the participation of Daedelus. This video is shot in Venice beach, so they are repping Obama and LA. h0ll3r!

2) Let's not forget the Obama reggaeton song, the only reggaeton song I have listened to in about 2 years.

3) This track, by Keith From Up Da Block is a parody of the classic Din Da Da. Don't sleep on this dude's cover art either. Fucking class.

4) We finally come to my personal favorite: an Obama song recorded by the inimitable Cocoa Tea. I FUCKING LOVE COCOA TEA. Check out the preview and buy them shits at TTL.

Let's be fair, though, Hillary does have a song. Guess who sang it? CELINE FUCKING DION. A CANADIAN SUCKFEST.

YAY! Extraterrestrial Brothers in Christ!

I realized after I wrote this title that someone might misinterpret it as a potshot against the Pope's looks. Nothing could be further from the truth. The truth is that THE VATICAN SAID THAT ALIENS ARE TOTALLY LEGIT! Holy fucking christ! You have to love a church who thinks that Muslims are totally bogus but refers to aliens as our extraterrestrial brothers. Classic.

Bones

Here we go, I am going to say something really embarrassing: I am watching Bones right now. And I am also really enjoying it. Angel is really charming and apparently their secret lab is staffed by hot chicks and lame dorks. Its true. I'm sorry to ruin your image of me. 

I Heart John Mayer

This dude understands himself so well, it amazes me. Seriously, watch this video. 

Via the dude Brent

Nico

Ok, so let's say you lived in a parallel universe. This parallel universe had everything that our universe has, with the exception of older siblings and Urban Outfitters. Let us suppose that you were walking down the 14-year-old-anemic-hipsterless streets of this universe and you saw, in a shop window, a video of Nico singing. Or wait, maybe you just heard her in the local circuit city while you were trying to buy a middling-to-low level stereo system. Would you think that she rocked? Or would you think that maybe she was a little tarded and so it was mean for people to pretend to like her? I honestly don't know what I would do. 

BTW I fucking hate Lou Reed. I saw the movie of Berlin and that shit was so horrible I wanted to claw my eyes out. And then he talked! Christ. I also was sitting by two, middle aged new yorkers in thick rimmed glasses who spent the whole show jerking themselves thinking about the East Village. I've been there. Their Whole Foods is just like mine.

Gay Friends Rejoice

Sometimes I wonder if this is a phenomenon that has always existed, or if this is the kind of thing that is an exclusively late-90s, early-aughts syndrome. I refer to the troubling condition of the gay friend. The oddness of the condition of the gay friend is in the fact that, for it to reach its complete articulation qua thing that sucks, the friend cannot be in fact a fan of dudes. To explain: let's say I am a dude (which in this case is true) and I would like to get to know a female, uh, biblically. Since I am a cultured, liberal, This American Life-listening, Obama voter, I decide that the best way to handle the situation is to subtly infiltrate this female's life by being attentive, witty, caring and–if the situation presents itself–taking care of her when she has had too much to drink. I decide that it is quite forward enough for me merely to allude to my penis obliquely and to, from time to time, hug her for a beat longer than is strictly necessary. What I must not do, though, is to show a hint of jealousy or even interest in her attention to other, more dudical dudes. I am completely confident that these dudes are destined to failure because the female in question also has several volumes of McSweeney's and only eats free-range chickens. The next thing I know, I am being introduced as her "Good Friend Dude" and receiving calls at off-hours about her problems with Paulo the Brazilian Lumberjack who has, once again, boned her, drank her last beer and disappeared into swarthy anonymity. I am now Gay Friend. Once one has become Gay Friend, nothing can be done. If you try to clarify the fact that you are actually there to get down, they will accuse you of having been deceitful, a snake in the grass. This is true–but damaging to your chances of tang attainment. Most likely, you will try to get with a whole slew of subpar chicks in her presence and hope that she notices/cares/gets jealous. She won't. Did this shit happen to Ernest Hemingway? Or Sam Cooke? Probably not. But then again, they didn't have This American Life.

But never fear, Gay Friends! Now there is a movie just for your (our) pathetic existence, offering a bit of fictional carrot for you to grope after before you fall in the hole of being 40, single and owning a whole bunch of Le Tigre CDs! Its called Made of Honor, and to tell you the truth, I only know about it because I would be the starlet's Gay Friend in a second (seriously, I have an RSS feed of her IMDB page, she can't do a voice-over without me knowing). As far as I can tell the story is about her Gay Friend (remember, not actually gay) who is just getting up the guts to expose himself to her when–OH SNAP!!!–she tells him that she is getting married to Dude McDudical. Oh shit. Then, to heap indignity upon indignity, she gets the wacky idea that he should be her MAID OF HONOR! Gender roles? Fuck that! So, then some zany shit happens, and we as viewers are perplexed as to why patrick dempsey who is like the hottest dude EVAR, got relegated to eunuch doormat status. Then, I would imagine that she realizes this and they chop of Dude McDudical's junk and adorn their marital cake with it. Or they find out that Dude McDudical was, in fact, two midgets in a costume! I don't know, the fact is that I will go see this movie because I have no self-respect. TrRAAILER!

PS. The internet just told me that Michelle Monaghan was once on Law and Order SVU. If this means that she was at any point a naked corpse, someone let me know. I HAVE NO SHAME.

New Trina Album

Hey dudes, just poppin' in to tell you about the new Trina album. What's that? You don't know who Trina is? Observe:

Although man of you may think that Biz Caj is the baddest bitch, that is in fact misleading. Apparently, Trina is in fact, Da Baddest Bitch. Here, Khia–who is also in the running for baddest bitch of all time–reviews Trina's new album, Still Da Baddest. I don't think that she liked all that much:

FIRST OFF!!!! LETS START WIT DA ALBUM COVER!!!!! LIKE I SAID B4..... DAT BULLET AINT DA ONLY THANG DATS BEEN IN HER YUCK MOUTH.. AND FROM DA LOOKS OF THANGS HER HEAD IS BIGGER DAN HER BODY NOW!!!! SHE LOOK JUST LIKE DAT BOBBLE HEAD ON HER PAGE!!!!!!! NOW DATS ONE THANG DA BITCH GOT RIGHT!!!!!! DAT BLACK DRESS IS A HOT MESS....... SHE LOOKED LIKE A BURNT THIN-IN DINNER!!! ALL I SEE IS RIBS AND BONES.....SINCE DAT PEDIALITE AND ENSURE AINT WORKING. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND.....STEROIDS AND DONKEY MILK!!!! CUZ HO YOU LOOK LIKE U ON UR LAST TRIMESTER.. AND BITCH PLEASE DONT BLAME DAT RAPID WEIGHT LOSS ON DA LEMON JUICE DIET!!! CUZ WE ALL KNOW AINT NO BITCH OUT DA HOOD WILLINGLY LOOSE ALL DAT WEIGHT!!!!! YESSSSSSSS!!!!! HO U AINT PARIS NOR NICOLE AND IN DA HOOD, THE BOYS ARE SCARED OF U POINTING AND WHISPERING..... SHE LOOK LIKE SHE GOT DAT THUNDA LIGHTNING!!!!!!!!

NOWWWWWWW!!!!!WE GOING INTO THE INSIDE OF THE ALBUM COVER...... STARTING WIT DA FEET!!!! WHY DIDNT YO GLAM SQUAD..... TERRENCE DAVIDSON, MISA HILTON AND NADINEEEEEEEEEE TELL U TO GET A PEDICURE GURLLLLLLLLLLLL! YO FEET IS CRUSTY AND YO WIG IS DUSTY AND YO HEAD LOOK BIGGA DAN YO BODY!!!! WHAT IS REALLY GOIN ONNNN???????? FROM DA LOOKS OF THANGS, DIS WAS A BAD TIME FO YOU TO PROMOTE AN ALBUM!!! U SAY IF MINE EVA COME OUT!!! U SHOULDVE WANTED ANYBODY TO SEE U ... LOOKIN DA WAY U DO!!!!!AND DEY NEED TO BE FIRED IMMMEDIATEDLY!!!!! IT LOOK LIKE U BEEN WALKING DA HO SCROLL ALL UR LIFE!!!! BITCH, WASH UR ASS CUZ UR FEET SHOULD BE DA FIRST THANG DAT HIT DA WATER!!!!!!MOVING RIGHT ALONG!!!!!!!

TRACK 1: DA INTRO

THANK U FOR CONFIRMING DAT U'S A WEAK MINDED BITCH AND HAVE BEEN PUMPED AND INJECTED. AND NOW UR HAS DIFLATED. U C BITCH..... WE HAVE TO WATCH DA MESSAGE DAT WE SEND OUT TO OUR YOUNG GIRLS!!! DONT U HAVE A YOUTH FOUNDATION??????
LOVE YA SELF HOE!!!! MY NEW BOOK!!! BE SURE TO GRAB ONE!!!!!

TRACK 2: STILL DA NASTIEST BITCH

U A QUEEN???? RESPECT U??? U GOT DAT RIGHT BITCH!!!! IT WAS ALL A DREAM!!! AND U WOKE UP AND ITS APRIL FOOLS!!! AND U STILL THE HOE U ALWAYS BEEN. AND HOES DONT GET NO RESPECT!!!!!! PUPPETTTTTT!!!! U GOT A GOOD MEMORY!!!! TRY TO REMEMBER OTHER PEOPLE'S WORDS AT UR SHOWS!! SEE .....WHEN U IN DA BOOTH!!! THEY RECORDED FIRST AND DEN UR DUMB ASS MEMORIZED IT!!! ITS REAL IN DA FIELD HOE!! U LOOK LIKE U STRESSED!!! DO U HAVE DA WHOLE ALBUM MEMORIZED YET?????? IS RICK ROSS UR SINGING COACH????????

TRACK 3: KILLING U HOES

BITCH!!! DA ONLY THANG U KILLIN IS DA NEXT NICCA U FUCK. BEEN RAPPIN TEN YEARS AND DONT OWN NUTTHIN!!! KILL URSELF HOE!!! HANG URSELF!!! BITCH!!! JUMP OUT DA WINDA AND CHASE UR CD DAT I JUST THEW OUT AND GET RUNNED OVA WIT IT AT FULL SPEED!! BITCH, IM DRAGGING BY DAT DUSTY ASS WIG.... SO HOLD ON TO DA BUMPA AND GET THEE BEHIND ME. U GONE LEARN TO RESPECT DA QUEEN!!!!! U OUGHT TO TELL PLIES......" THANK U FO WRITING U DIS SONG." I GUESS DATS WHY HE WAS CALLING ME!!! TELL HIM I SAID DONT WORRY BOO!!! I AINT MAD, GET UR MONEY AND UR PUBLISHING!!! HELL HOE!! PUT ME ON.... ILL WRITE U A HIT!!! MINDLESS BITCH!!!

TRACK 4: SINGLE AGAIN

HATED IT!!!! WE GIVE DAT SHYT TWO THUMBS DOWN!!!! U SINGLE AGAIN BUT NOT BY CHOICE...... HOE WEEZYYY WOKE UP!!! HE DONT LUV U HOE!!!! U SINGLE AGAIN CUZ HE LEFT UR DOG ASS!!! HOE WHAT U GONE NAME YA BABY? BABYYYY? CUZ IN 98 U WAS FUCKING BABY!!! U AINT MARRIED YET????? U CANT TURN A HOE INTO A HOUSEWIFE. CUZ U LOOKED A HOT MESS IN DAT WHITE WEDDING DRESS!!! ALL WHITE IS NOT FO U!!! STICK TO DA STRIPPA SHOES!!! OR WRITE A BOOK LIKE UR TWIN SISTA....SUPAHEAD!!! CUZ ITS OBVIOUS U CANT SELL NO RECORDS. MY RECOMMENDATION..........PORN!!! OH, MY BAD, UR BODY IS DETERIORATING AND NOBODY WANNA FUCK U NO MOE!!! TRY A BLOW UP BOBBLE HEAD TRINA DOLL!!! CUZ UR PERFUME AINT SELLING EITHER!!!

TRACK 5: LOOK BACK AT ME

LOOK BACK AT WHAT???? GURL.. UR ASS IS GONE. AND US REAL QUEENS IS SOOO TIRED OF U TALKING BOUT UR ASS!!! WE ALL KNOW DAT IT IS AS RAGGEDY AS A MANGO SEED!!!!
GURL!!!! STOP STEALING PEOPLE SONGS!!!!!!! EVERYBODY KNOWS DAT LOOK BACK AT IT BELONGS TO THUGMISSES. DONT WORRY BITCH!! I AINT GONNA SUE YA LIKE WILLY DID ME!!!!

TRACK 6: I GOTTA THANG FO YA

DIS SONG SHOULD HAVE BEEN ENTITLED...... KEYSHIA COLE!!! CUZ DA ONLY THANG WE WANNA HEAR IS DA HOOK!!! BITCH!!! STOP WHINNING LIL WAYNE DONT WANT U!!! HE GOTTA THANG FO ME. U HURD WHAT HE SAID........ "DA QUEEN WIT HER HAIR LIKE MINE."

TRACK 7: I GOT A BOTTLE

SO U DONE WENT BACK TO SUCKING PUSSY NOW????? CUZ I KNOW U SUCKED PLENTY PUSSY FO DIS TRACK!!!! I GUESS U TRYNA GET UR HOUSE BACK..... OH YALL AINT KNOW SHE FUCK FO TRACKS????? YEAH!!! DATS HOW SHE TRICKED WEEEZY INTO A RELATIONSHIP!!! DAT HOE WASNT REAL ABOUT IT!!!! DONT ACT LIKE YALL DONT KNOW DESE HOES FUCKS FO TRACKS!!! NOWWWW!!!! IS IT DA FOURTH OF JULY OR AM I AT DA CIRCUS??? CUZ I COULDA SWORN I HURD FYEWORKS!!! BITCH U A JOKE!!! I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY MISSY WASTED HER TRACK ON U!!! I OUGHT TO TAKE OFF MY BIG RED CLOWN SHOE AND KICK U IN UR BIG BOBBLE HEAD!!!!!!!! DEY DONE MADE UR FACE UP FO DA LAST TIME..... RONALD MCDONALD. CAN I GET U SOME FRIES?????? EAT BITCH!!!!!!!!! OR DO U EVEN HAVE AN APPETITE?????

TRACK 8: I WISH I NEVA MET U

BITCH DIDNT I SAY STOP WHINNING!!!LEAVE DA SINGING TO DA SINGERS!!!! I BET U WISH U DIDNT MEET WEEEZY AFTER DA HIT ER UP DISS!! I PUT MY BOO UP ON GAME AND HE LEFT UR ASS RIGHT AFTER DAT!!!! THE QUEEN HAS SPOKEN!!! YESSSSSS!!!!

TRACK 9: CLEAR IT OUT

U GOT DAT RIGHT....... UR BANK ACCOUNT CLEARED OUT, MAN CLEARED OUT, HOUSE CLEARED OUT, DEALS CLEARED OUT!! U CANT PAWN SHOES HOE!! AND DAT PUSSY NEED TO BE CLEARED OUT!!!!!! YESSSSSSS!!!!!


TRACK 10: STOP TRAFFIC

STOP TRAFFIC? HOE... FROM DA LOOKS OF UR FEET U STILL WALKIN DA STREETS. ITS BEEN TEN YEARS AND U AINT GOT OFF DA HOE SCROLL YET? YOU STOPPING TRAFFIC? HOE U BEEN STOPPING TRAFFIC SINCE OJ WAS DA JUICE. BITCH U A THROWBACK HOE. OLD AS DA ORANGE AND WHITE BUCCANEERS JERSEY!!!!! BITCH U NEED TO SADDOWN AND RETIRE!!!!! CUZ DAT PUSSY GOT MILES ON IT!!! WHO WROTE DAT SHYT!!! YOU AINT FROM NEW YORK , U FROM DA SOUTH!!! WHOEVER WROTE U DAT SHOULDVE GAVE DAT TO FOXY BROWN OR LIL KIM!!!!! OH!!!!!! YALL AINT KNOW DEY HAVE GHOSTWIRTER'S TOOOOOO? OOOOOPS... MY BAD.....DID PITBULL WRITE DAT??? OH....MUCH LUV PITBULL CUZ SEE I WRITE, PRODUCE AND COMPOSE ALL MY SHIT TOO!!!!!! GET MONEY BABY!!!!!

TRACK 11: PHONE SEX

IS DIS PRETTY RICKKKY????? I HEAR EVERYBODY BUT TRINA ON DIS TRACK. WIT DAT
PESTERING ASS VOICE. UUUUGH HER VOICE JUST ANNOYS ME.... BITCH!!! SHUT UP!!!


TRACK 12: HOT COMMODITY

I HEAR YA RICK ROSS!!!! U DA BEST WRITER DEY GOT A SLIP-N-SLIDE. BEEN DAT SINCE DAY 1. IM PROUD OF YA BABY!!!! GET MONEY

NOW... DAT ENDS MY REVIEW... DAT BITCH DONT GET A MIC.....SHE GET A CHORD!!!!
HANGIN!!! DA JOKE WAS ON U!!! ITS APRIL 2ND AND DA HOOD IS GAGING AT CHU!!!! ITS MY TURN NOW... AND FANS..... YALL ALREADY KNOW..... YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED....NASTI MUZIK 08!!! I GOT NEXT!!! IM ADDRESSING EVERYTHANG ON DA NEW ALBUM!!! IT GETS JUICIER!!!!

WIT DAT SAID......DIS IS DA END OF TRINA. NOTHING ELSE SAID!!! IT'S ALL ABOUT WEEZY DIS YEAR!!! THE THUG AND THE THUGMISSES!!! PASS IT ON

Ice Cube Is A Pimp

No amount of Friday sequels can diminish my opinion of the Cube. Maybe it is because he is from Cali, maybe it is because he is wearing white short shorts in this interview like a gangster. Watch this shit and you will never talk shit on the star of Are We There Yet? again. For really.

Bjork

So sometimes I listen to music. Today I found something that should interest everybody, like myself, who was alive in the 90s...a Bjork tribute album! This was put together by Stereogum and includes covers by the Dirty Projectors, El Guincho and No Age, to name a few. It also includes comments by all the bands about Bjork's work and, regrettably, most of them are worthless. Some of them, though, are kind of insightful. Visit the site and download the tracks and remember how much of a crush you inexplicably had on Bjork. 

UT is a Serious Research Institution.

Everyone has to have a line beyond which things cannot be tolerated. For me, this is Ayn Rand. I hate Ayn Rand's writing, I hate everyone who likes Ayn Rand's writing (usually this is coextensive with being a shmarmy Ron-Paul, supporting, palm sweating douche bag) and I especially hate anyone that considers her "philosophy" to be other than a bunch of half-baked horseshit. That said, the UT Philosophy department decided that it would be a good idea to have an ENDOWED CHAIR TO STUDY THIS SHIT. This is a department for whom Nietzsche is beyond the pale, Hegel is batshit crazy and Deleuze probably had syphilis. John Rawls, however, is the mack. Fuck this. 

Sorry for the rant. here is a song called "Mo Gut Than Butt." Yay DJ Assault. 

IM IN PHILA

About to go to this Museum and then drop some science on the Graduate Romanic Association. Hells yeah.

Fiesta

Those that know me know that I love me my trips to Fiesta supermarket. Every time I go there there is some crazy, next level shit going on; random children's parties (in a supermarket?), picture cakes made on the spot, new, gross meats at the carneceria. This, however, takes the cake.

Dudes Cooler Than Me

There comes a time in all dudes' lives when it is necessary to sit down and admit that there are a few dudes that can outdude you any day of the week. Today I realized that one of those dudes is David Harvey. Usually I call British Marxists "Marxists Without the Mess," but this dude has a beard and is thus exempt. I love you David Harvey, call me sometime. 

When You Want to Get High, But Care How You Get There.

Watch out Whole Foods.

Soulwax's Studio

BBC Culture show episode about Soulwax. Pretty rad.

New Steak Fingaz Track

Come on, treat yourself. You know you want it. LEETTTSSS GOOO!!!!
Sk8ter Dad-Steak Fingaz

Billary

Do you ever notice how people who are going to vote for Clinton never say anything about HER, they just talk about how Obama is on some pie in the sky shit? It is almost as if she has no positive characteristics whatsoever; her whole raison d'etre is just to hold on and not suck that hard. The problem is of course that she she does suck–profoundly. Hillary is–though–what America deserves. She epitomizes that subtle blend of mediocrity, liberal moralizing and evil that America prides itself upon. Peep this ad:

We are in an age in which we are so contantly and consistently lied to that there has emerged–for me–a sort of ethics of bullshit. It basically corresponds to how much effort the ad or whatever puts into pretending like we are not all selfish goons–playing to our supposed "values" or "morals" or "sympathy" or whatever fictional quality about ourselves we put on our Myspace profile. I want ads to TRY to fool me; at least pretend that I need coherence to my political hit ads. This Hillary ad is not even that. Why the crap are we talking about my children? And what the fuck is Hillary doing awake at 2 in the morning? Picking out a pantsuit? We all know that whoever gets into the whitehouse is not going to stop the Iraq war immediately or make us all quit smoking and drive hybrid vehicles. The fact of the matter is that all we really want is to continue our slow-motion plummet to the bottom of the world's esteem in a graceful manner. That is all we want.
Compare the above ad to this ad.

Let us bracket for a second the gagging lameness of this song and all things Black Eyed Peas related. OBAMA'S AD HAS JESSICA ALBA AND A GUY WITH A HANDLEBAR MOUSTACHE. Game set match. I am essentially just waiting for Hillary to have a Britney moment and just freak out and gain 70 pounds. So looking forward to that.

This is to let you know...

About this fantastic blog that I just came across courtesy of The Fader. This dude takes the chart game to the next level, sometimes to positive effect, sometimes to just an effect but it is all on THE NEXT LEVEL. 

Oh, and also, dig this. Do you think that Obama actually commissioned someone to write a reggaeton song about him, or that that sort of thing just happens spontaneously when you are the illest dude to ever make a gesture with your hands on a podium? Don't know. Actually, don't care, because both are rad. 

Greatest Hits of Internet Slang (Last Week Edition)

OK, so here is the slang that I have picked up around tha internets in the recent days. As my man Marcustotle is fond of saying–peep game.
Liberal Arts Hip-Hop (via the Woodman)–From what I can tell, this is anything that could also be called 'conscious rap' or some shit like that. Think condescending tone, mixed metaphors, white guilt, patchouli and short dudes with backpacks doing grafitti, or graf or tagging or whatever. ATCQ, Dela, Common. This doesn't mean that it sucks, though. Because I totally listen to that shit and that means that it can't suck.

Snugglefuck (via the TTL blog, via XXXchange)–Not that the phenomenon ever went away, but I am glad that I now have a word to use to refer to that weird morning sex where mouth to mouth contact is strictly prohibited. My discussions about this phenomenon/word have shown me that not as many people as I thought were into the snugglefuck. Weird.

The Bromance/the brodeo (first from TTL blog, second from the inimitable Becca)–Basically these two terms are exactly what you think they are, dudes just duding out on dude-stuff. I have to admit that there have been a lot brodeos going on in my life, so this term has really hit home.

BTDubs...I just rewatched Batman Begins. Katie Holmes does not wear a bra at any point during that movie. It is pretty intense. Go ahead, watch it. PROVE ME WRONG.

Oh and also, have you ever wished that you had, like, a whole bunch of remixes of Mariah Carey songs? Me too.

So Real

Heath Ledger Is Dead

Long live Heath Ledger. Seriously, I am trying not to be a callous prick about this, but I will go ahead and point out that I would, if possible like to be found dead by a masseuse. If I had to be found dead, which is something that I would not like. You get the fucking idea. 

I honor of his upcoming role in the new Batman movie, I give you this.

It is hard to argue with the facts...

The world is getting shittier everyday.

Black or White

I want to remind you all about the mindblowingness of the "Black or White" video when it came out. Remember when morphing was like, the most amazing thing that you have ever seen? I am so glad to have been alive when people when people were genuinely fucking impressed by visual effects. Now, I am like, AH, I don't know, the rendering on that CGI tiger's fur is a little off...fuck this movie. Part of the allure of this video is also the fact that it almost looked like MIchael was going to be able to pull himself out of the hole with this one. THat proved to be incorrect, however.

P 2 tha S. I just realized that this clip includes pre-weird-fat-pride Tyra!

Oh and BTW

Steak Fingaz is playing tonight @ the Scoot Inn. Shit is going to be EXTREMELY major. Get involved if you are in Austin.

New Years Resolution

Ok, Ok. I deeply apologize to all 6 people who read this thing, but things have been a little on the hectic side over here @ SExfaceRulez. I just took my QE (qualifying exams) yesterday and I just realized how worried/annoyed I have been by the whole thing. So now that it is done I can focus on my real loves–downloading way more music than I can ever listen to and making grand plans, only a fraction of which I will ever realize. In the spirit of these two things I have decided to definitively start blogging more, if only to let some of you onto the deep thoughts that I got brewing around this brain of mine. So stay tuned. In the interim, I want you to listen to this song. It is really good and was even in a movie that DMX was in! That is fucking cred.