Finally!

Ban on first cousin marriages "not necessary".

Youtubery

Flight of the Concords: Do You Like Ladies?

This video has me sincerely considering learning how to roller skate. I guess I would have to go through the whole "learning-how-to-skate-and-falling-in-public" thing which is not awesome. If I could somehow just go straight to skate-dancing, I would be all over it.

Campaign Song Roundup

So like all sane Americans I am a Barack Obama supporter. I began as an Edwards man, but then the capitalist war machine (or something) took him out, so I switched my support to Obama. The whole time I kep this a secret from John Edwards because he is mean ass drunk. So now Obama has Edwards' support and all is right in the world. One of the reasons that I  like Obama is that, somehow, he has the enviable talent of inspiring random people to write him totally not shitty songs about him. Hillary not so much. Let's take a look:

1) This song by TI$A also has the participation of Daedelus. This video is shot in Venice beach, so they are repping Obama and LA. h0ll3r!

2) Let's not forget the Obama reggaeton song, the only reggaeton song I have listened to in about 2 years.

3) This track, by Keith From Up Da Block is a parody of the classic Din Da Da. Don't sleep on this dude's cover art either. Fucking class.

4) We finally come to my personal favorite: an Obama song recorded by the inimitable Cocoa Tea. I FUCKING LOVE COCOA TEA. Check out the preview and buy them shits at TTL.

Let's be fair, though, Hillary does have a song. Guess who sang it? CELINE FUCKING DION. A CANADIAN SUCKFEST.

YAY! Extraterrestrial Brothers in Christ!

I realized after I wrote this title that someone might misinterpret it as a potshot against the Pope's looks. Nothing could be further from the truth. The truth is that THE VATICAN SAID THAT ALIENS ARE TOTALLY LEGIT! Holy fucking christ! You have to love a church who thinks that Muslims are totally bogus but refers to aliens as our extraterrestrial brothers. Classic.

Bones

Here we go, I am going to say something really embarrassing: I am watching Bones right now. And I am also really enjoying it. Angel is really charming and apparently their secret lab is staffed by hot chicks and lame dorks. Its true. I'm sorry to ruin your image of me. 

I Heart John Mayer

This dude understands himself so well, it amazes me. Seriously, watch this video. 

Via the dude Brent

Nico

Ok, so let's say you lived in a parallel universe. This parallel universe had everything that our universe has, with the exception of older siblings and Urban Outfitters. Let us suppose that you were walking down the 14-year-old-anemic-hipsterless streets of this universe and you saw, in a shop window, a video of Nico singing. Or wait, maybe you just heard her in the local circuit city while you were trying to buy a middling-to-low level stereo system. Would you think that she rocked? Or would you think that maybe she was a little tarded and so it was mean for people to pretend to like her? I honestly don't know what I would do. 

BTW I fucking hate Lou Reed. I saw the movie of Berlin and that shit was so horrible I wanted to claw my eyes out. And then he talked! Christ. I also was sitting by two, middle aged new yorkers in thick rimmed glasses who spent the whole show jerking themselves thinking about the East Village. I've been there. Their Whole Foods is just like mine.

Gay Friends Rejoice

Sometimes I wonder if this is a phenomenon that has always existed, or if this is the kind of thing that is an exclusively late-90s, early-aughts syndrome. I refer to the troubling condition of the gay friend. The oddness of the condition of the gay friend is in the fact that, for it to reach its complete articulation qua thing that sucks, the friend cannot be in fact a fan of dudes. To explain: let's say I am a dude (which in this case is true) and I would like to get to know a female, uh, biblically. Since I am a cultured, liberal, This American Life-listening, Obama voter, I decide that the best way to handle the situation is to subtly infiltrate this female's life by being attentive, witty, caring and–if the situation presents itself–taking care of her when she has had too much to drink. I decide that it is quite forward enough for me merely to allude to my penis obliquely and to, from time to time, hug her for a beat longer than is strictly necessary. What I must not do, though, is to show a hint of jealousy or even interest in her attention to other, more dudical dudes. I am completely confident that these dudes are destined to failure because the female in question also has several volumes of McSweeney's and only eats free-range chickens. The next thing I know, I am being introduced as her "Good Friend Dude" and receiving calls at off-hours about her problems with Paulo the Brazilian Lumberjack who has, once again, boned her, drank her last beer and disappeared into swarthy anonymity. I am now Gay Friend. Once one has become Gay Friend, nothing can be done. If you try to clarify the fact that you are actually there to get down, they will accuse you of having been deceitful, a snake in the grass. This is true–but damaging to your chances of tang attainment. Most likely, you will try to get with a whole slew of subpar chicks in her presence and hope that she notices/cares/gets jealous. She won't. Did this shit happen to Ernest Hemingway? Or Sam Cooke? Probably not. But then again, they didn't have This American Life.

But never fear, Gay Friends! Now there is a movie just for your (our) pathetic existence, offering a bit of fictional carrot for you to grope after before you fall in the hole of being 40, single and owning a whole bunch of Le Tigre CDs! Its called Made of Honor, and to tell you the truth, I only know about it because I would be the starlet's Gay Friend in a second (seriously, I have an RSS feed of her IMDB page, she can't do a voice-over without me knowing). As far as I can tell the story is about her Gay Friend (remember, not actually gay) who is just getting up the guts to expose himself to her when–OH SNAP!!!–she tells him that she is getting married to Dude McDudical. Oh shit. Then, to heap indignity upon indignity, she gets the wacky idea that he should be her MAID OF HONOR! Gender roles? Fuck that! So, then some zany shit happens, and we as viewers are perplexed as to why patrick dempsey who is like the hottest dude EVAR, got relegated to eunuch doormat status. Then, I would imagine that she realizes this and they chop of Dude McDudical's junk and adorn their marital cake with it. Or they find out that Dude McDudical was, in fact, two midgets in a costume! I don't know, the fact is that I will go see this movie because I have no self-respect. TrRAAILER!

PS. The internet just told me that Michelle Monaghan was once on Law and Order SVU. If this means that she was at any point a naked corpse, someone let me know. I HAVE NO SHAME.