Thursday, December 20, 2007

I Am Legend

This movie blew so much ass, I would have left if I hadn't bought a bucket of beers already. It is sort of like Omega Man, but without all the kickass parts.
But Sexface, you may be saying, If it sucks so hard, why is it the HIGHEST GROSSING FILM IN THE COUNTRY/WORLD? The obvious answer is that everyone sucks. The real answer, though, lies in the fact that people are starting to get the idea that the world as we know it is going to end relatively soon. Think about warming...American led WWWIII on god knows who...pandemic...continued writer's striker meaning, leaving only reality TV. So people want to see movies about the end of the world, so they will know what to do. Apparently, what Will Smith did was steal some diesel jeans and muscle shirts and do some push-ups. Then he talked to his dog. Then he half-assed a fight with some unconvincing CGI monsters. Then Alice Braga showed up. Then he SAVED THE WORLD. Hurray. I would recommend that people not only don't see this movie, but do as I did and stand outside of the theater and tell people not to see it. That is what Jesus would do. I think.

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